No urgency

I don't feel any urgency recently sobs

And there is actually so much work to do 

Due next week - 

EQS, Native sun project

MGM report, MGT & UGC mye

Next next week-

MGE #2 Assignment 

MGM motivational talk

MGT presentation 

MGO exam

FML help

Music Video of the day
Hush (Miss A) - Woo Ye Rin Cover

Uncertainities

I'm scared that I'm _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.

This post is to pray to God that I'm ain't so,

in exchange I swear I won't do it until it's someone I _ _ _ _

Thankfully no one reads this blog :)

Will buy the test tmr ~ PLEASE D:

There is marketing midterms tmr and

it's supposed to be a gameshow SIAN

I prefer to be mcq sobs

so much energy needed

plus need to dress up weirdly lol

My eyesight is getting worst these days,

if possible I don't want to log on anymore (use the computer)

I like my clear vision :D

I'm thinking if I should write a dailyre (?) but it's public so

what if next time someone uses it to flame me sobs

the harsh world

It's difficult making friends as well

from the toilet I heard, "Aren't we waiting for (me)?"

and when I went out they disappeared sobs

I wonder having a stupid image is better or a smarter one ... sobs

Music for today:

No feeel

Got so much to do but just too difficult to finish ~ sobs!! 

what should I do 

sobs 

JIAYOU presenting you:

Social Anxiety

I will try and update my blog every weekend :) 

I had an important exam on Monday, and instead of going with A (usual "clique"), I went with people I were more comfortable with - and indeed I learnt better woohoops. But .. I was on my to the exam hall and saw one of his friends. Till then, I realised my social anxiety has already evolved into something that I couldn't control anymore. I began hyperventilating (?) lol (a bit dramatic but sobs) and not being able to concentrate sobs. Eventually I anyhowed the exam and got out of the hall in hopes of getting out of school since I felt so sick. 

But .. since I was going with my friends for dinner and I always stay till the last minute, they assumed I will be there all the way LOL sobs. Anyways I was wondering if I should see a psycharist but .. I don' t think it's that serious yet and it will probably heal? (I hope so) BUT (aha so many buts today) one thing for sure, I can never go back finding old friends. 

I'm fearful of social judgement, and even though I didn't do anything wrong, I feel discriminated by their sight, feeling fear that they have been fed stories that benefitted them only. Sobs. March is coming and there is still no news about Denmark. :( 

I really hope things can go smoothly and hope I can go travelling soon and SURVIVE MARCH HAHA 

Resolutions these year (lol although I'm late)

To drive well

Slim down

OH ya and video of the day - this song is honestly good :D 

Opportunities

I know it's my fault for not taking up those "opportunities" but 

wishlist: to find a soulmate or someone who will listen to me haha

There is just so much to do

I can't seem to cope

I REALLY WANT TO GO DENMARK NOOOOO

(even tho I might get ostracised) 

sobs

Anyways, I was thinking to write a story (inspired by produce101) where the main character is actually a high school student with good grades but bored with life so she signs up for an audition program through his uncle's agency and take part in the audition. She would probably be the main vocal and then build an all star team. However, she does have a problem. She appears unfriendly although pretty, and unsociable.

Song of the day:

Girl- Woo Ye Rin

This song describes the reality of every high school girl where competition exists (everywhere) and she has to resist the temptation of hurting others to climb higher.

Er because I'm a super fan of her works here's another one

her recent Yeontan (two people playing the piano) perfomance 

Red Shoes Cover (IU) by Woo Ye Rin and An Ye Eun

Again, they chose to cover this song because of the fairytale behind this song.

So this girl wishes for shoes to take her wherever she wants 

and she does get it and goes wherever she wants

except home 

When she finally get rid of the shoes (didn't listen to her orders)

and returned home, her mom has already passed away from an illness.

Treasure hunt

I was wondering if 

I should find back my friends who I enjoyed talking to but

disappeared because I didn't stand up for myself or tried to clarify to them but

should I ask them if they could be my friend again and 

believe in the worthless penniless ugly me 

I'm not someone who can express my thoughts very well

and not someone who can defend myself very well either

becoming someone who is used to getting blamed 

or would rather become the sacrifice 

becoming extremely stupid in the process 

but no matter how I think about it 

there's no way I can be a fox and ...

what if one day I couldn't fight for what I want 

so .. I probably should start on my ex friends first 

IDK

And

I'm applying for an internship in Denmark

Since the United States didn't work out but 

that doesn't seem to be working out either 

I think .. I'll keep trying but urgh so many buts

IDK frustrated

Song of the day: 

Cover - Lies (G.O.D) by Lee Soojung

taiyou no ie

Feeling pretty emotional these days

Wondering if I did anything wrong for me to develop such social anxiety

But after reading this manga 

(I recommend all of you to read it, it's really good)

I wonder if we could still be friends

and this time

I'll listen to all your pains instead

Will that love gradually fade away

and would fear slowly diminsh

I neeeeeeed courage :(

“When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” – The Alchemist